faceblocks | deer country: inbox

From the horse, whatever part of it you'd like. It took some time to realize who I was talking to.

Listen Vi, when you were first here you were a touch volatile about the man. I suppose I came to fuss if you can bear me asking if you are well.

nope

but im better than i was when i helped him out of the ocean

that was a day

yeah im not doing real great

oh he sent me a message too

he didnt fuck with you did he

are YOU ok

I can imagine. It's clear you have a history with him.

I'm fine, Vi. If anything I was shocked he was as civil as he was once he learned who I was.

he's not like me

he wont just

the message he sent was real civil too

i dont think he meant to thank me at all

[okay, well there's a small chance in hell he meant it. but she's not going to entertain that because ...no.]

[and after a long moment of consideration, a beat between messages, and almost purely because of hug and understanding of their first meeting he decides to be entirely forthcoming]

I see this world as a different life, separate. A second chance, perhaps. It is easy to say that and much harder to put it in practice.

Which is a long way of saying our world, our lives, they were a mess. In truth Vi? I do not know what to think, of any of it. I know well enough he makes me nervous, and that much of that comes from personal bias and my own experiences, not sense.

[this makes her sit up and put her thoughts down more slowly.]

I do too. Mostly. It's hard, but most of the time I feel like this is a chance for me to make things better. For myself, for my friends, for all of us, and for the regular people that live here, the ones that don't get to maybe wash up on the beach again as squids.

[typing that out makes her headtilt, but that's ...trench.]

Mostly that last one. We can do things here. We can make change. Yeah, the ocean is pissed off and this place is a LOT but we have all this power. We're changed, and I can't think of anything better than trying to make this place more safe, and less of a flaming shithole.

They were. You're right. And I don't know what to think half the time, either, I just keep rolling with it because I don't know what else to do. He should make you nervous. He's dangerous. He twists things. He twists people.

I have no reason to think he's different just because he's here. I wanted to kick him back into the sea and hold him under with my boot.

[that is not, however, what she did.]

[oh silco definitely seem capable of being marked civil, that's for sure. he focuses on the rest though, grim as he types]

That's been my goal since I started here. Or, in truth, I was aimless for a while and then came to feel the same. At first it was a matter of legacy, now I find I genuinely care for this place. I hope I can see it grow.

[and ah, this seems both the right time and an odd time to tell vi, but he's been meaning to so why not?]

I'm dying. Lung disease even sleeper blood can't heal fast enough. I'm sure you've seen it before, plenty in the undercity end up lost to it each year. I have plans at the end of the month to try something of an experimental transplant, and I am hopeful, but yes, I suppose it's hard to say what will happen.

And, for what it is worth, I think you are one of the people I would trust to keep trying for this place. You have a good heart, Vi.

[woof, heavy. a lot. moving on to silco again barely is any better.]

I think with Silco it will be a matter of balancing. I don't like the idea of running off to warn everyone he could be dangerous and destroy any chance he has of building a new life, if that is what he plans. But I believe you when you say he's dangerous.

A mess, as I said. I suppose we will just have to be careful, both of him and jumping to condemnation because it is easier.

[the reply is at least an hour later, because vi has had herself a quiet cry, first where she sits on her bed and later on the roof, which is where she answers from.]
If you were someone else, I'd have so many things to say. Suggestions. Questions, even. But you're you, and I know you've already tried it all, or at least scribbled it out on a board and on papers, and you've run it all by people that know a lot more than I ever could. People that know different things.

This experimental transplant. Pal knows, right? Is he helping?

I haven't warned anyone. Except Sansa, because I live there, and if he thinks I'm a problem, or if I become a problem then I just don't want her caught up in it. I'm all for everyone getting a second chance, a chance at being something or someone new. I just don't want him to do it near me. But we don't always get what we want, and if this is how it is I guess I have to deal with that, too. Even though I don't want to. I hate it. I hate him so much.

vVander told me t hhat, you knowww. [caitlyn had said it too, just before the pain had swallowed her and she'd been woken - not with a kiss but with shimmer - and cait's gun notably absent. she has had a lot of time to think on this, too, since she's been here.] That I had a go od heeart, before every thing went to shit tt. before he died.................

I' m trying to be better.

I'm going to keep trying, but it's really hard. I should probably tell you everything. I owe you that, and honestly a lot more. Like, two ears if you wanna talk about anything for starters s.

We can make a promise then. To keep each other careful. You have my back, I have yours.

Keep each other from doing anything stupid.

[she can't believe she's even suggesting that he help her rein herself in when it is silco they are talking about, but here she is, doing just that. surprise surprise not really viktor she is worried about when it comes to doing anything stupid. it's vi. she is 100% talking about herself here.]

Yes, in fact he's performing the surgery. He's very good at what he does, and I'm very good at what I do so I am confident. My concerns are mostly for this place and what it will allow in terms of changing a sleeper's body at all.

There is too much left to do to succumb regardless, no?

I'll likely tell Palamedes, though less a warning and more simply the facts. In truth I am not concerned about his ability to handle someone like Silco, he's very resistant to manipulation and threats. And frankly Vi, that seems the best way to handle it. Keeping your distance and not pretending it is all well and good.

[and oh, he didn't even know vi knew vander. viktor only knew of him, who didn't in the undercity? he had heard vague rumblings of vander's children or proteges, of how they were lost with him. turns out at least two weren't, if jinx as vi's sister was also one. if that's what vi was to him.]

I never met the man myself, but I can imagine if he said it then it is true. He had the reputation for a very good heart himself.

There are probably matters I should tell you as well. I didn't think them important but now- well, it's all catching up to us, is it not? Funny, how interconnected everything is turning out. I thought it odd enough we all just happen to be born of the same place.

It's a promise.

Come by Sanctuary sometime soon, or I'll come to see you. I need to take some measurements for your gauntlets regardless.

[there's a lot she could say, a lot she wants to say, but she saves it for speaking. it's hard to think on this, and ...what the fuck, trench? bringing viktor come here for a so-called second chance and then stacking the deck with slow-dying lungs? like that isn't something a pthumerian couldn't have waved a ...something and taken care of. the whole thing is just bullshit, and that's just one more thing about (almost all of) them that she doesn't like. it occupies her thoughts, as does the message and what she might do with it - until she does do something, and that sets off a small series of events that cause this message to come a couple days later.]

You should come here. It's only fair that I return the favor. I didn't mean to leave you hanging.

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she tried not to cry on the omni but oops

she deserves a good cry tbh

they all do honestly