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[vi: still smiling at this, because the mimicked gesture is just too cute.]

Dunno. Guess you'll have to open it to see what's in there.

[in other words: a surprise.]

(what a sneak! but she's fine with that so she flips on over the branch to hop down on the roof. mr. bananas snakes all around jinx in a quick fashion to ride on her shoulders; cooing in curiosity. and again, despite he can talk and is highly intelligent -- he still behaves like a monkey because it gives jinx some sort of a tranquility response. to show he is way smarter than her (in some departments) makes her feel inadequate. and the last he wants is to make her feel this way when she's already dealing with such demons over it. some omens might view him doing this as disrespectful or maybe offensive. and in some form, yeah... he can see that.

but what's important is jinx to be happy and safe. he knows jinx can take handle herself in a fight (unless her opponent is monstrous beyond belief) so his main purpose, he feels, is her mind. that is more important to keep safe and protected than her having a few scratches here and there. so if being a silly goofy monkey (that's his personality regardless) keeps jinx grounded and leveled, he will do just that.

so here is jinx plopping herself in front of her sister and extends her hand out to whenever vi hands her the bag. her first instinct is to wiggle it but doesn't. for all she knows, it could be breakable which in other circumstances -- neat! but she reaches in and pulls out the item.)

[she will find a small blue box, and inside the box will be a ring. (the size is a guess, but it's a decent one, and she's got a backup plan if it doesn't fit properly) also in the box, beside the ring, is a curved piece, something that might fit in a belly-piercing. both are made of vileblood, so they're more green than red, but there's some red there among the dull green.]

I know they're not the prettiest to look at, but they're made from my blood. There's something ...going on with it right now that seems to help people. Keeps 'em a little calmer than usual. For once I'm making people think peaceful thoughts instead of riling them all up, how weird is that?

Sometimes my blood reminds me of the Undercity. People like to talk shit about it, sure, some people can't see the beauty in it, but that's their loss.

I've got a jar of stones for you, too. But these is to keep on you, so when shit gets bad it's bad not worse. You were making noise about getting pierced, so you can bring them that little piece when they do it.

The ring's got some kind of flower etched into it, something about how it grows anywhere, even if you don't water it much, or give it sun? It's adaptable. Like you are. When they told me about that flower I was like yeah, that's it. That's the one. That's us.

(as she pulls out the box and opens the lid, her heart jumps up to her throat. but not in a way of one growing nervous or fear. for once, her heart doing this is a good thing; a good feeling. the redness wash over the pale complexion of her cheeks as she gingerly reaches over to grab onto the ring. even though the ring is between her index and thumb with the other jewelry still in the box, the overwhelming calmness between them and vi in front of her collides on her. it's like the wind as the sensation swirls and curls around her; an elegant waltz of one might imagine of a prince and princess in a fairy tale.

out of her provisional vision, the roof underneath them slowly fades into soft bright green grass. the breeze brushing along her cheek and a few strands of her locks as the loose leaves spin along across them, and up to the heavens above. and after she listens to her sister's explanation, she peer up to her briefly and then to their surroundings. it's more than obvious she is having an "episode" or "freaks" as silco's gang would call them. and vi, may recognize it as such, too. or if these somehow went unnoticed, it's definitely staring at her in the face now. a front row seat of one of her sister's illnesses.

but unlike the previous times where jinx seem frighten or angered by what she sees, the way her eyes are aglow and wide -- her breathing is staggering but more so like she is seeing bright colors for the first time. to see such beauty like this almost feels she is unworthy to have such a glance. and yet, here she is... in the middle of it all. )

( mr. bananas creeps off of her to give the two sisters some space and then idly curls up for a yet another brief calming rest. jinx gazes back over to vi and then at the gift -- setting the box and the other gem aside. tenderly, she slips the ring on her finger. it a little loose but it still fits just fine. and once it's on her, her eyes are on her again. all of this, she did for her. and who knows how much blood she had lost to do this just for her.)

...

Edited 2022-09-22 17:11 (UTC)

(there is a one single shimmer tear that sneaks out of her eye and rolls down her cheek. and still without a word, jinx moves forward to her sister. the motion is slow as she scoots close -- making her way to be half-way into vi's lap. she nuzzles herself in; in a fetal position with face tuck in her chest. there's a long sigh she lets out... like an overdue breath that needed to be exhaled. every muscle in her body relaxes as she feels so much at peace. and jinx wonders then... if this is what heaven feels like. to have the spring-like breeze tickle her across her skin, birds singing their sweet melody, buds now abloom to flowers, and the sun shining gently through the clouds.

if this is heaven, she never wants to return to earth -- to the harsh and cruel reality down below. she only wish to be in a place with this feeling and with her sister where no harm can ever hurt them again.)

Edited 2022-09-22 05:18 (UTC)

[this is not a reaction vi expected. in truth, she isn't sure she had any expectations - hopes, maybe - but this has vaulted over them and exceeded them at every turn, and oh have there been turns.

she watches, curiously and cautiously as jinx's face changes - as her focus is on things that vi doesn't (and maybe can't see) - and if she's sensing them or seeing them, vi isn't sure, but ...it looks like she's seeing them. she remembers the little blue squid in the rocky pool - desperately shaking and shooing something away that vi couldn't see then, either.

and then she lets herself dredge up all the times she'd witnessed it before here.

i wasn't talking to you

i'm in no mood

how small and scared jinx had looked as vi had shouted out names at her that last awful time they'd been together - she'd meant them to be a balm, a way for powder to remember who she was, but all she'd been doing was failing to acknowledge that powder was jinx and that she'd only been reminding her of something that had become monstrous to her - that she'd contributed once again to her sister's mental anguish, and ultimately ...silco's death. it's not about how vi feels about silco just now - it's about how jinx feels, and had felt - and vi has made the (difficult) choice to never ever do such a thing again as long as she's in her right mind.

so this is a bit of a balm, now - the peace and wonder on a face that's still her sister, always has been - and it doesn't come without sting, jinx isn't well, but that's why vi had done this - and she would have bled out every last bit of her blood to do this - to help even a little - because powder or jinx - that doesn't matter - what matters is that her sister isn't tormented by her own mind at every waking moment.

she's heard the jolting gasps in the middle of the night, lain wakeful in a pool of sweat that wasn't her own, heard the soft, fast pad of her sister's feet to the bathroom followed by the heaving into the toilet. the darting eyes and the sudden turns - in places that aren't haunted or plagued by horrors - it's an absolute failure to keep her sister safe.

she'd failed when she left her alone with no one, not even ekko to keep her company while she went after vander. she'd failed again when she'd struck her - and in trying not to fail her a third time, she'd put the icing on the cake of failure, because in walking away to cool her head before she'd said anything worse (what could have been worse?) she had failed to assess the situation - an alley, really? - anyone could have been waiting - and allowed it to blossom into full failing, rotted bloom (you left her). those actions (and if she's honest even some before them, the whole heist, for one) had left powder to shoulder the burden of everything. the false belief that it had all been her fault, when in reality...

...so no, there's nothing she won't do to fix this. to not fail this time, in this chance, she's not going to leave, or give up, because yeah ...she did create jinx. and she is desperate to be right with it. powder is jinx and jinx is powder and she's done with loving the ghost of a person, or the idea of a person. it's not love if she isn't willing to deal with the messy parts.

so give her the messy parts, jinx.

vi opens her arms to gently encircle her sister, letting her lean in - the wetness of that tear tingling on her chest. and where jinx exhales vi does too - a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. she can't promise that this place won't hurt them - but she can promise that she will try her damnedest. to make sure nothing ever takes her away again, pulls them apart again, hurts jinx again - and another promise she can make: that if jinx is hurting, it won't be because of her. not again, never again.

no monster is gonna get you when i'm here. and i'm never gonna be that monster again.]

(how long has she been in this hold? minutes, hours, days...? but did it matter? it's something that's been way overdue, she feels. and although they've been like this since mariana decided to have her stay put this time in trench, it always feels like the first time or something they haven't done. and maybe it'll take a long while in getting use to.

jinx can fall asleep like this and it almost sounds like she's going to when she decides to softly sing to her sister. her voice is muffled due to being buried in her chest but vi can still make out her words:)

♪ Another day inside my world
I'm married to you and this road
A road that never lets me sleep
There's no way to escape these demons I am forced to keep.

But then I find you here
Through your eyes everything's clear
And I'm home inside your arms... ♪

(this... is her way of confessing of well, her issues. maybe not all of it and maybe it doesn't really need confessing when a lot of times she can't really hide them. but the first step to anything is saying so. she told silco she would... see mylo, claggor, and vander still. so it's only right for her to somewhat tell vi, too.)

[she pays attention to the words. she'd once lain in bed and sang to jinx amidst a scatter of strobing lights, her sister high on mushrooms, and here they were again only it's jinx's turn to sing. vi had chosen her song deliberately then, and that jinx would do the same? of course she would. there are ...patterns to her chaos more often than not. things that seem random on the surface are not always. vi is learning that. she remembers small examples from their childhood - lines of thinking that caused mylo to scoff, claggor to headtilt, and vi ...at least half of the time she'd followed. and when she didn't she just asked.

there's an openness in it - very little guard here, no walls, just ...leaves they both can see and the ones that only jinx can see.

maybe eventually vi can see them too, somehow (spice? mushroons? a ...bond?). she doesn't dwell here in that line of thinking, but oh the demons i am forced to keep strikes a chord, both musically and literally. sometimes, in her own nightmares, she would hear her sister sing. this is anything but that - and it could trigger her if she let it, roll right into a monologue of self doubt, of her own failings, but nope. nips that right in the bud before it blooms and leans into it, leaning into the embrace. listening. hearing what jinx was telling her.

powder had been the better singer between the two of them if you asked vi all those years ago. she'll stand by that just like everything else.]

(in any circumstances, this would be difficult to express but there's so much peace and security she is currently feeling with her. so her words, while sounding more as if she's drifting into slumber (she might be), it's all coming so easy. and knowing jinx, much much later she will deny until she is blue in the face she said anything of this.)

♪ I mean the best with what I say
It doesn't always sound that way
I never learned to work things out
'Cuz in our family all we ever did back then was shout.

But still I find you here
And through your eyes, everything's clear
And I'm home inside your arms...♪

(she stirs just a smidge -- fingers curling tightly on her clothing. should she...? well. she's sung this much and besides no more secrets or holding anything back. this is a new life, a new chance, and a new road. so.)

♪ And I try to sleep
But my mind is killing me
I think of you to ease my pain
Sometimes you're so far...

Now I'm haunted by them all
They say, "I'm a problem; a mistake"...

And yet I find you here
With those eyes, everything's clear
And I'm home inside your arms
But I feel alone....sometimes. ♪

[oh, the words hurt. they hurt like the slow curl of fingers around her heart - a gentle, painful squeeze that stills her breath again - until she lets herself breathe through it. none of this will be easy. that's fine. they're both messed up. they've both messed up. they could both be problems, but the idea that jinx was a problem for existing? a mistake? no. vi had made her share of those, too. if she wanted to get down to shitty brass tacks then she'd made the mistake. she'd made jinx after all, right? so fuck that line of thinking. toss it right off the roof and into that pretty place she couldn't quite see with her own eyes - maybe it's got a volcano that can swallow it right up and belch out some butterflies.

if jinx happens to fall asleep, vi will carry her into bed and tuck her in. she will sit up for a while - take out her sketchbook, and draw a peaceful sister, sleeping for as long as she's able. she has tried to draw her before - many times in the month before they'd found each other - but this one has life in it.

if she denies it later, vi might quote what she remembers. and she remembers enough to search for the song when she's able.]

(jinx, indeed, falls asleep. those last words of her song turned into mutters and then silence. but it's to be expected with her working so hard on the tree house and finally getting some mental peace from her mind. as she is tucked in and vi sitting there doodling, mr. bananas had followed along but also shrinking himself way tiny (small bird-size) and perches himself on vi's shoulder to look at the drawing.)

Very nice. You are a very good artist. I know I am Jinx's omen and I try very hard to support her emotionally and mentally. But if you want to chat with me too, I am happy to help! I'm a good listener. Would you like to talk about anything?

Thanks, Mr. B.

[she whispers, low voiced against her shoulder, lest she wake the sleeping jinx. she's been going hard at that treehouse, and doing an impressive job, but even sleepers have to sleep. and jinx ...maybe more than some of them. her mind - it's almost always going.]

I guess there's so much I don't talk about I wouldn't know where to start. Mostly, I'm just scared of messing up again. Saying the wrong thing, not being there at the right time. Seeing and hearing things I'm...

...I'm afraid to tell her, but I know that I have to. Eventually. I gotta trust that she can handle it. And then if she can't, I gotta trust myself to handle ...that.

Tell her what if I may ask? If it's too personal, I understand that too.

The book I touched. One of her memories was in it, and it...

...I'm okay now, but it was bad. Like, "lost my mind a little" bad. You remember. Fang told me you helped. A lot.

It was her and ...Silco. I was her, but also me. Some of what Silco said were lies. About me. That's how I know he was lying. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't believe me.

And I don't want to make her ...doubt things more. She's got enough of that already.

Oh, I see...

(he taps his chin with his finger and then crawls carefully down to sit on the drawing. not trying to be rude about it but so they can see each other face to face.)

What she have told me of Mr. Silco, he seemed stern but he took care of her growing up. I know that's something you don't want to hear because I'm very certain YOU took care of her too before then. Jinx acknowledges that you did. She cares and loves you. But you need to understand that she cares and loves Mr. Silco, too.

(mr.bananas grabs his own tail and smooths out some of his fluff fur; somehow getting a little puffy.)

View this in a different angle. You were arrested, right? Well. If Silco hadn't been there, where do you think Jinx would be right now? I know that's something you don't WISH to think about. Probably very painful to but... you DO have to owe it to Mr. Silco just a little bit. He gave her shelter and food while you were taken away. Jinx probably wouldn't be with us today without his assistance. As for everything ELSE....well...

(he finishes with his tail then ponders for a small minute.)

I think if that's a conversation you wish to have with Jinx, it would be better if Mr. Silco was present, too? Although... that could lead into another, ah, incident. But maybe this go around, no weapons will be involved. Because if you tell her now, yes, she will doubt more and she can't consult Mr.Silco. So it'll be on her mind constantly.

Edited 2022-09-30 03:45 (UTC)

I know he took care of her.

[vi is certain she might have done a better job if she hadn't been carted away, locked away - but might have leaves room for her own doubts. what of the vi that hit powder? the vi that said all of those words she could never take back?]

And I know she ...cares for him. Loves him, even. It's why I didn't punch his sorry ass right back into the ocean the first time I saw him.

[she's learned a little skill in listening without interrupting. and half of that's things like ninja school and meditation whilst the other half is purely not wanting to wake her sister, or to raise her voice. she's quiet for a little while, choosing her words carefully, reaching down to smudge a bit of the sketch - a but of shadow in the cheekbone. and here, under the brows.]

I think about that all the time. What might have happened if she were on her own. If nobody---

---or if he'd decided just to kill her. But if he doesn't come back, she's just gonna think I cared more about some dumb gemstone than I did her. And I hate knowing that. I hate not being straight with her, and I hate that that book---

[...revising that last part. she doesn't hate the book as much as she thought she did. she's not grateful, but she's got a better idea of things now, if that memory can be trusted - and she feels as if it can, until she deviated from the script.]

You're right. I'll work on this on my own. Find a way to get through it and ...wait. Backburner it. 'cause she doesn't need any more shit.

What you are doing right now is helping her see you don't care for the stone. And I believe this treehouse of hers will be a lot of help to her, too. A nice safe space of her own to grow and think.

(he carefully moves out of the way of her drawing to perch at the end of the bed. meanwhile, jinx shifts just a bit in her sleep but nothing much else -- returning back to breathing soundly.)

She needs you more than she lets on. I do believe she can handle herself when it comes to enemies and monsters. I have no doubt in my mind about that. But... it's the growing part she really needs you on. Jinx spent so long working towards the independence for your home. But now that no longer matters, she is... a bit lost. All that's left is for her is to be a normal teenager and she doesn't know how to do that.

"Powder" had friends but not "Jinx". "Powder" had a daily every day normal routine but not "Jinx". Even the "Jinx" back in Zaun had some sort of structure or missions to take on every day. Here, she doesn't. I don't think she needs a strict routine or anything. She'll only rebel. But maybe...

(he taps his chin in thought.)

... Maybe something like on Mondays, she goes out jogging and the rest of the day she can do whatever she likes.

(then he realizes he's been chatting too much then waves his hands a bit in a flail.)

Oh, I'm sorry for going on like this. Like you, I'm also trying to figure her out.

[vi very much likes the idea of jinx having her own space. not so much because she wants her space back (maybe the tiniest bit but in the end she'll take jinx in all her spaces over her absence) but because her sister deserves it. deserves her own things and her own place to sleep or sulk or invite others into - boundaries. a place where she can shut the door and say 'no come back later' - and what could be better than building those boundaries with her own hands?]

Yeah, she needs that. To be in control of where she ...fits. In all of this. She decided to build it here, that's something. She deserves a place where she can feel safe. And make friends.

We can figure her out together. [over here, while jinx also figures herself out from the inside.] I just gotta make sure I give her all the right tools. I can't make her do the stuff but I can tell her 'hey, there's all this stuff'.

[a little yawn. a little steal of a glance at jinx as she stirs - watching her breathing for signs of disquiet, and finding no huge red flags she turns back to the drawing, to the omen.]

Is jogging something you think she'd like to do?

Hm, I think so. She did a lot of training under Silco. Target practicing, physical fitness, all the sorts! Now that I think about it, that's something maybe you and her can do together.

... Do you want me to tell you a little secret?

[she leans in closer, her voice still a whisper.]

Of course.

[as long as it's okay with jinx, is what she wants to say. but mr. bananas is part of jinx, so it's fine. she doesn't need to ask.]

(he whispers back and even giggles a little.)

In hand to hand combat, she fights exactly like you. All the exact moves and everything. Watching her is like watching a tiny Vi.

[she'd never thought to look for this.]

You know I'm never going to be able to unsee this now that it's out, right?

[she's smiling as she looks down, away and at her sleeping sister.]

Next time she is training, I'll send you a video of her. Her strengths are more so in her legs though. Jinx can really kick, like whoa.

Edited 2022-10-09 05:06 (UTC)

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