faceblocks | deer country: inbox

Yeah, that sounds like corruption, shock, and depression.

You down to grab a drink?

cool its like a whole party
who knew corruption had friends

idk

yeah but

no crows

ugh crowds
~~crows are fine~~

Come to my place. We'll drink here. I don't have a wealth of booze but I've got wine and whiskey and snacks.

u had me at snacks

also whiskey

Cool, I'll get the shit out. [ an image comes through with her text. it's a detailed map to her house from the Watch Tower and includes tiny cute faces of Rose and Sharon surrounded by flowers and the words Our House in sharp, angled handwriting. ] Feel free to just walk in.

[ the entry-way is far from Sharon's normal style. everything about the place screams home. ]

[~~maps: the kind of directions vi can actually follow.~~ it's easy enough to find because she knows this area. it's full of memories of her first days here - full of ghosts.

feel free to just walk in gets a laugh, but it's a complicated one. walking right into other people's places? that's old hat to vi, and she's not sure how to feel about those memories either. so she just doesn't. feel. that's healthy, right?

the house isn't what she expected. it's cute and soft where sharon's - well, she's cute, but she's full of sharp edges, and this room, at least - it doesn't have an edge in sight. the faces give her pause, but she sends the text.]

im in
i mean im here.

[ vi will hear the clatter of glass in the room directly in front of her and the door to the kitchen swings open. it's warmer in there than at the entry, the brick fireplace lit up and glowing. there's pastries on the kitchen table, iced in yellows and whites, but, better than that, are a pair of rocks glasses filled with several fingers of whiskey. ]

Hey there. [ she greets vi ] Welcome to my lonely, humble abode.

[vi follows the sound of the glass - once in the kitchen she's again caught of guard by the soft tones, everything's a bit fancy to her when she compares it to home, but there's no time to think about that if she goes straight for the glass.]

Hey.

It doesn't look lonely. [but. as far as she knows sharon lives alone. the contrast of the photo in the entryway makes her re-think that statement.] Looks don't always mean anything, do they?

[eyyyy. she might look slightly less corrupted than she is. or not! but the smell of rotting flowers clings close to her like perfume as she slides into a chair.]

Yeah, looks can be deceiving. [ the house had the feel of a home but it lacked the life of one. sharon just took care of it. kept it the way rose would have kept it in hopes that one day she'll return.

she takes a seat across from vi and leans forward, elbows on the table. ] You been bleeding?

Today? No. Not for lack of trying, though. [it tries to be a smile, but it's not.] Jinx forgot her bullets. Or something.

[she's just slightly sweating poison. not enough to be truly noxious, but it's left its scent behind.]

Every other day or so? Yeah, I bleed some, the Zealots bleed some. It's a tradeoff. They don't seem to like it, but they keep playing the game.

[and there goes the drink, down the hatch.]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, right?

[ sharon grabs the whiskey and pours vi another glass before taking a deep drink from her own. ]

Hunting them? [ it kind of sounds like vi is doing the same thing sharon has been doing on and off this month. ] Making them pay?

[a nod, because that's exactly what she's been doing. oh, a few times had been rescue missions, but there had always been an edge to them since the first time. before the first time. she'd been gunning for them since the idea of them had been presented by never mind.

ah, that vileblood alcohol tolerance.]

They wanted blood. They wanted to get crazy. Well...

[a laugh and a sip this time.]

I saw their handiwork in one of those books Never Mind dropped all over Trench. Didn't like it much, and I liked watching my friend re-live that shit even less. You been making 'em pay, too? High fuckin' five to that.

[palm. up. it might make your palm a little tingly. just a warning.]

[ sharon smacks her palm against vi's with a resounding clap, though it lacks in enthusiasm. immediately, she feels the effects of her vileblood but she shakes it off. it's not like it's a bad tingly. ]

They fucked with my mother last year. [ vi's blood may be poisonous but sharon's voice is full of venom ] Tortured my friends. Tortured me. Like fuck was I going to let them get away with it. [ she downs the rest of her drink and refills both their glasses. she's not a big drinker and it doesn't take much before it goes to her head. ]

I've tormented people for less. Though, unlike the Order, these guys are really into pain. Some of them don't even flinch or scream. It almost takes away the satisfaction.

[vi also lacks enthusiasm, it's a high five of bitter, fuck you energy, in a one way direction of zealots, with a slight branch off toward ...a few pthumerians. woah, woah, wait, what.

did sharon just say her mother? that gets vi's attention. she thinks about the woman in the photo, and decides not to ask: she's pretty sure she can put most of the pieces together. it's the second time sharon has mentioned her mother - the other time had been in a much more lighthearted way (johnny. lawrence. and his drunk post bonanza), and she'd guessed around the edges of it - but this seals the deal.]

I've killed for less, I just don't talk about it. When I was locked up it was a whole different game, and it was almost always for me. I didn't have friends in there to care about, but...

...even if they were people, or still are something in between, they chose this. And if we can't fix them, and this is what they are, it's not any different than the outpost beasts. Fuck 'em.

If you go for the throat first it almost takes the buzzkill away.

[not like she started doing that or anything. another sip, but she's smiling a little.]

I'm guessing this shit's old hat for you. I'd say I'm sorry about it, but I'm ...there's something wrong with me right now, I know.

[ Sharon nods her head in quiet agreement at the fact that the zealots chose this. Not that it would've changed her actions if they hadn't or if they could be cured. The zealots get what they deserve no matter what. And some crimes can't be wiped away. ]

It's, uh... It's both very old and very new for me, actually. [ she takes a long drink and lets the alcohol sit in her mouth for a moment before she speaks again to address vi's apology. ]

Vi, look at what happens here. Look at what we go through on a damn near weekly basis. Of course there's something wrong with you. This shit builds until we can't think right. [ there's something angry and bitter coiled in her voice. something impossible to conceal and her expression twists with it, nose wrinkled as she glares down at the table. ] People do everything to try to prevent corruption and beasthood but it's inevitable in a place like this. It's part of the fucking design.

We can only suffer so much before we just snap.

[vi would debate that if she were more herself, but right now it's hard for her to have any sympathy for them - even if they were people once. did they know this would be the fruit the tree of their wretched labors bore? they had to know. they could have used their own blood. she'd made them use it. she smiles at that memory.]

Yeah. I grabbed a bomb that wasn't a bomb. [a tiny:] yay for not thinking right. And then I was disappointed my sister didn't bring her gun. So I guess this is the sound of my... [a finger snap instead of the word.]

It's a shit design, sometimes. But other times you can ...use it.

How does that work? The old and new?

[ sharon dips her head in a tiny nod of understanding. she knows what it's like to reach that tipping point. vi would recover, though. she recognized her issue and she had a support system. it might take her time but she'd recover. ]

You'll have to tell me how it can be useful. [ because it's just not something sharon can see. she hates it all too much.

but that question, oof. she leans back in her seat and the chair creaks just a little. ] It's frustratingly complicated. I'm talking I've existed at the same time in multiple forms thanks to the fact I can split my soul apart complicated. [ she says this flatly with a shrug of her shoulders like it's... not fucking insane. ] I don't mind discussing it but... Yeah. Complicated.

It's a dangerous useful. Like walking a tightrope, or ...well, grabbing a bomb. You walk the edge of corruption just enough that you're more. More everything. In a way, it's like Shimmer. You let it leak in just enough to turn yourself into a weapon, and then you turn it back on the bullshit that's fuckin' with you, only you gotta keep a tight lid on it, and know your limits, and still have enough you left to get your ass somewhere that can get it out of you.

Or have a system in place that'll take you out no questions asked if you're not yourself anymore. I'm thinking of making a better system for that than what I've got.

[vileblood: the bane of getting drunk.]

I know a gal that can make duplicates of herself when she fights, they're illusions, but you're saying what you've got is you being able to split ...you? [a vague idea of the concept, but not the variation in sharons.]

I'm all for dangerous useful but... corruption seems more dangerous than useful. [ she's seen what can happen when corruption turns into beasthood and how beasts destroy. too often, they're put down. and rarely are they ever recognizable. ] It'd be shit if you lost yourself to it.

[ sharon means that. she doesn't want to see vi lose herself. she doesn't think jinx would handle it well and it would certainly break sansa's heart. ]

Yeah, I can split me. My soul. But... it's not something I think I'll ever do again. The pain it requires... The pain it causes... [ she swallows back a lump in her throat, eyes down on the empty glass in her hand. she'll never be able to forget that pain. and she'd done it twice. ] You don't ever forget. You feel it forever. Like a scar.

But that's why I exist the way I am. I'm Sharon Da Silva because I created Sharon Da Silva. I'm... [ she laughs bitterly here and refills both their glasses again, a little sloppier this time around, splashing some on the table. ] I'm my own mother.

I was one person. And then I was two people. And then I was three people. And now I'm one again. A royally fucked up whole with all the memories and experiences of my other pieces.

[it's enough to hold her attention past surface level, even in this state - it's enough to get her to think. no, not good thoughts, but things that are well outside of what she's been doing, what's been done to her and hers, or even what's happening with her sister.

that circles around the edges of it - the idea of a fragmented self, but this is - a lot more than that. it's beyond voices, beyond even hallucinations, perhaps. you feel it forever, like a scar.

she knows a little about that, but the gravitas is enough to make her reconsider the depth of that knowledge. push comes to shove? she'd bet sharon might just know more. and that's ...terrible, honestly.

a shudder runs through her at this - and as it goes it takes some of the sick in her eyes with it.]

I...

[her mind can't wrap around i'm my own mother as much as she wants (maybe doesn't) it to, and that's evident by her expression - but the last part she has no trouble understanding. her own trauma is enough - the idea of that in triplicate? that's just too much.]

Shit, Sharon. I don't know whether to pour you another right here, or switch you to over to water.

[big sister button has been activated.]

[ she snorts under her breath, the ghost of that previous bitter laugh. suddenly, she feels selfish for having told vi, knowing the other woman is dealing with a lot at the moment; still reeling from the tower, from corruption, from the death on her hands no matter how important it was to commit. ]

Don't worry, last glass for me. [ she lifts it up to her lips and sips it this time around, no longer trying to down it like a dying man, and tries to smile but it's strained and wrong. painted on. a smile that doesn't reach the eyes. ]

...I probably shouldn't have dropped that shit on you right now.

[she's thoughtful a moment before she pours herself another drink.]

I'm the one that asked how it worked, so that kinda makes me the shit-dropper if you think about it.

This could be my last. I mean, I'm still sober, because this shit's a poison.

[of course she drinks some after that.]

Point taken. [ she lies with a shrug of her shoulders, leaning back into the chair. ]

So, what, you can't get drunk?

Not can't, but...

...I got into a contest with Johnny and a coupla other guys, and let's just say I was the last one standing. Well, until I tried to keep up with D. Huge mistake.

So I can get there, but it takes a lot. Forty shots, give or take a few.

[she just ends up reconsidering her motives half the time - vileblood: it gives her a lot of time to do so. not a bad thing, she's just really got to commit to getting smashed.]

It sucks that you had to get pushed that far. [it doesn't sound like a thing she'd just done for the hell of it. splitting a soul. fragmenting a self? she thinks of her sister again and sighs softly.]

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