she's quiet a moment - but this isn't really an odd time to find something out like that. it's a totally appropriate time the more she thinks on it. and that explains a lot - it explains the strength in falco's assault on the tower - his willingness to put himself in harm's way for them - his willingness to kill. to break a promise to himself. that's ...love of some kind for sure.
it stirs something in her that had felt long absent. see jun? you can't argue anymore. you're worth it, and some part of you has decided that's true because it is true. brittle, fragile heartbreak falls away in fragments, that sheen of icy vengeance, the bitterness she'd been simmering in - and she's so glad of this. so glad.]
Of course I won't tell anyone. I'll take it to the grave. That's your thing to tell whenever and if ever you decide to. You and Falco.
...Falco and you.
I like the sound of it. The sound of you. You sound ...happy.
I'm so happy for the both of you. You deserve each other. And I mean that in the best way possible.
I... yeah. I am happy. He's... probably the best thing to ever happen to me. He makes me feel... stronger.
I know that probably sound stupid, but... yeah. ... I want to learn how to fight so I can help protect the people I care about, including him. I... I don't want anything to happen to him, or to you, or to Manabu...
[He sniffs a little bit, trying to gather his thoughts.]
I'm just... I know we're both pretty young, but we're both... happy. With this, I mean. I... I mean we both had to grow up in a lot of ways, but... it's nice to just curl up with someone you trust.
I never thought this would happen to me, much less with another guy. But it... it feels right.
If it feels right, then it probably is right. Especially for people like us.
[you know, the ones that don't trust as easily - or the ones that come with seventeen bound volumes of self loathing and other issues.]
That's how it should be, I think. Maybe not all the time, but most of it. The people that are good for you? They make you feel ...good. Or like you want to be better. Like you can be.
Nothing about that sounds stupid. And there's nothing wrong with trying to learn new shit, or how to better defend yourself and your people. I wouldn't spend so much time running you through all that stuff if I felt any different.
I don't think anyone's too young to know they really like someone. Or trust them. Or even love them. That it's another b---
---guy? None of that matters. Shouldn't, anyway.
[speaking of. she's on the precipice of a thing. so why not just say it. in case it all goes bad. it won't - she's being careful - but shit happens sometimes, and what if she never gets to say it? she's spent too much time regretting angry words and not enough time saying other things.]
I love you.
And yeah, I'll say that to your face. When Manabu says I can.
I know you wouldn't want that, or think that at all. I can love more people than just my sister.
Just don't let it get out that my heart's as thick as my head is.
I wish you'd heard it more, too. But I'm glad you're hearing it now, and I hope we're not the last to say it. I don't think we will be.
[manabu probably thinks it, just hasn't said it. maybe he didn't have to with how protective he was, how he'd forbid vi from a visit. well, let him say it in his own time, but she hopes it's soon.]
It's a work in progress for lots of people, me included. And some of us suck at it more than others. Or are just bad at saying things, or knowing what to say. Or even knowing what we're feeling.
I can't speak for your adopted dad, but sometimes one person's hundred percent looks like twenty percent to someone else. Sometimes it's really twenty percent, and there's no way to know without asking.
Well, fuck. I guess I'll have to say it more often to help you get used to it.
[she's really glad falco said it. vi? well, she can be an idiot sometimes. jun might be right to question her opinion. falco? never. may as well hand jun a trophy with '100% lovable' engraved on it.
it's hard to tear away from this to make another trip into the tower - or at least another round of stalking zealots. looking for the right one. maybe that's a point she should dwell on. if it feels bad to tear herself away from this then maybe she should ...not???]
He tried, but... he wasn't very good at it. He treated me more like a student than his own child. I don't think he really knew how to deal with kids, especially after his wife died.
[Which he thought was Kana's fault for a long time... it's his fault Kana had to grow up so fast. IF she ever shows up here... but she shouldn't. She's way too young for this place.]
... Thanks, Vi. I appreciate it. It's... just all new to me. And you know me, I tend to scowl at new things first.
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she's quiet a moment - but this isn't really an odd time to find something out like that. it's a totally appropriate time the more she thinks on it. and that explains a lot - it explains the strength in falco's assault on the tower - his willingness to put himself in harm's way for them - his willingness to kill. to break a promise to himself. that's ...love of some kind for sure.
it stirs something in her that had felt long absent. see jun? you can't argue anymore. you're worth it, and some part of you has decided that's true because it is true. brittle, fragile heartbreak falls away in fragments, that sheen of icy vengeance, the bitterness she'd been simmering in - and she's so glad of this. so glad.]
Of course I won't tell anyone. I'll take it to the grave. That's your thing to tell whenever and if ever you decide to. You and Falco.
...Falco and you.
I like the sound of it. The sound of you. You sound ...happy.
I'm so happy for the both of you. You deserve each other. And I mean that in the best way possible.
no subject
I know that probably sound stupid, but... yeah. ... I want to learn how to fight so I can help protect the people I care about, including him. I... I don't want anything to happen to him, or to you, or to Manabu...
[He sniffs a little bit, trying to gather his thoughts.]
I'm just... I know we're both pretty young, but we're both... happy. With this, I mean. I... I mean we both had to grow up in a lot of ways, but... it's nice to just curl up with someone you trust.
I never thought this would happen to me, much less with another guy. But it... it feels right.
no subject
[you know, the ones that don't trust as easily - or the ones that come with seventeen bound volumes of self loathing and other issues.]
That's how it should be, I think. Maybe not all the time, but most of it. The people that are good for you? They make you feel ...good. Or like you want to be better. Like you can be.
Nothing about that sounds stupid. And there's nothing wrong with trying to learn new shit, or how to better defend yourself and your people. I wouldn't spend so much time running you through all that stuff if I felt any different.
I don't think anyone's too young to know they really like someone. Or trust them. Or even love them. That it's another b---
---guy? None of that matters. Shouldn't, anyway.
[speaking of. she's on the precipice of a thing. so why not just say it. in case it all goes bad. it won't - she's being careful - but shit happens sometimes, and what if she never gets to say it? she's spent too much time regretting angry words and not enough time saying other things.]
I love you.
And yeah, I'll say that to your face. When Manabu says I can.
[when she's done with zealots.]
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[He's quiet for a few long moments, swallowing hard. He laughs a little bit, uneasily. He doesn't mean to - it just comes out.]
I... thanks. You know I... you and Falco are the only people who have ever said that to me? So it's just...
[Odd? Awkward? All of the above? He lets out a long breath and shakes his head.]
I... love you too. I... you know I'd never want to try to replace Jinx, but... you're like the big sister I never had.
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Just don't let it get out that my heart's as thick as my head is.
I wish you'd heard it more, too. But I'm glad you're hearing it now, and I hope we're not the last to say it. I don't think we will be.
[manabu probably thinks it, just hasn't said it. maybe he didn't have to with how protective he was, how he'd forbid vi from a visit. well, let him say it in his own time, but she hopes it's soon.]
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[He huffs a little, trying not to laugh. Vi is... she sure is a character. And talking to her makes him feel warm and fuzzy... it's nice.]
I... I mean I'm okay with just... it's still a new thing. I'm just... I'm sure my adopted father tried, it's just... he was really... distant.
... I'm trying to accept that people can love me. It's... it's taking a bit.
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I can't speak for your adopted dad, but sometimes one person's hundred percent looks like twenty percent to someone else. Sometimes it's really twenty percent, and there's no way to know without asking.
Well, fuck. I guess I'll have to say it more often to help you get used to it.
[she's really glad falco said it. vi? well, she can be an idiot sometimes. jun might be right to question her opinion. falco? never. may as well hand jun a trophy with '100% lovable' engraved on it.
it's hard to tear away from this to make another trip into the tower - or at least another round of stalking zealots. looking for the right one. maybe that's a point she should dwell on. if it feels bad to tear herself away from this then maybe she should ...not???]
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[Which he thought was Kana's fault for a long time... it's his fault Kana had to grow up so fast. IF she ever shows up here... but she shouldn't. She's way too young for this place.]
... Thanks, Vi. I appreciate it. It's... just all new to me. And you know me, I tend to scowl at new things first.
[Hey, at least he knows himself?]