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who is this

[ This is not his beautiful not!wife. ]

Edited (im classy) 2022-11-10 03:14 (UTC)

u first

who is THIS

wait ok ok me first

im

someone who doesnt burn potatoes ;)

you are not the person that was meant for. why has the device sent it to you?

[ Then he thinks to read her username. They appear at the top, unlike signatures, and he missed it. (He still does not notice his own, which has changed. Unfortunate.) ]

i know you. this is altair. but i do not see how i could have sent it to you. i specifically remember sending it to someone else.

it is good you do not burn potatoes. enough jokes, how is it done?

[at this point it's old news to her - it just keeps on happening. why? because trench. and she'll say as much.]

oh that
cause the omni is screwed
something in the air or the blood i guess

u can use ur omen instead
oh hey hoody
u changed ur username so i thought u were some rando
would have give u way less shit if i knew it was u
probably

ok so what are u cooking them in
oil
butter
nothing
something else??

also if u soak em before it helps
and if u rly want to be fancy u can boil em for a couple min
in some salt (also water but duh how else u boil)
i know its a pain in the ass
but so are burnt potatoes

a travesty
ill still eat em tho so if ur throwing burnt ones out
throw em here

i do not think my omen will transcribe faithfully, so i am writing it myself. i just will not put anything in my messages i do not wish others to know in case it falls into the wrong hands.

i did not change my username. i have not chosen one, and if i did, i would not choose this.

[ Be proud of him, Vi. He's not switching to voicechat even if he desperately wants to. He really wants to get this writing instant messages thing right. ]

boiling. does that not take out the flavor?

if i burn them i still eat them. i cannot afford to waste food. but i can bring you some extra.

cant say thats a bad idea
its just a lot of work but its smart
u did a good job it all reads fine

ive seen worse and ive had worse
as far as user names go its not bad

u just boil for like 5 min w/salt
not enough to really cook
they end up soft on inside and crispy on outside when u fry

ill always take extra
im not a food waster either
if u end up burning em again i can show ya
its one of the only things im real good at cooking

[look at him! typing out all those words and using punctuation. that's some effort.]

i do not want to be known as a stabman. imagine if i were trying to speak to scholars at the archives but all they could remember is calling me stabman. it might upset those with more peaceful dispositions.

the salt takes the water and flavors the potatoes. i see. [ It makes sense when he thinks about it, except he never would have thought of it. ] if i burn them again i will go outside and you will show me. [ Outdoor cooking is where the serious business is at. also it wouldn't require him to reveal where he lives, nor be so forward as to ask where she lives. ]

i can see that being a bit of a prob but
screw em if they cant get past a name
could be a perfectly innocent private joke
or a play on words
like my sisters user name

but i get it
u have an image to maintain

u got urself a deal
ill bring snacks so we can eat while we cook

[meanwhile vi gives out her address like it's free advice.]

i would tire of answering odd questions.

[ He's got a nerd image to maintain. ]

do not assume i will burn them. wait why do you give this address? will your sister not object?

50/50 chances yeah?
for ur sake i hope u dont burn em

but now im invested

sworn sister or sister sister?
either way its good
this is a business address too and its protected
plus i know u

sworn sister wont mind
shes cool about most ppl
sister wont either bc she built her own place above mine and shes a whole security system on legs

as long as im not kissing u she couldnt care less

i have no plans to kiss anyone! tell your sister that! or do not. do not say anything. i think i will just not visit you at your home.

[ How does Altaïr deal with awkward interactions? Sometimes he just chooses not to play the game. ]

im not opening that can of worms
besides theres nothing to tell

hey its ur call
weve got a big kitchen tho

i do not wish to cook worms either.

the marks of wealth are different in this country. do you do well for yourselves to have a large kitchen or is it there are many people living with you?

id like to say i wouldnt cook a worm
but i wouldnt say no
depending

just 2 other ppl
technically three but my sister builts a treehouse above us
so y 4 total

they do pretty well for themselves
especially sansa

i do well too
weird

you really do eat everything.

does ppl mean people?

pretty close

and yeah people = ppl
its just quicker to not spell everything out
unless its a big deal
srs bzns
srs bzns = serious business

[ He pores over the latin letters for an entire minute, debating the merits and demerits of this form of abbreviation. ]

i think it does not translate well but i appreciate the efficiency.

[ To return to a previous topic: ]

if i am to choose a name, should i go by hoody?

yeah it takes some getting used to
if ur used to typing out all the letters

you could use that
if u like it
it doesnt matter THAT much but u should go w/something u at least like
a little

and it doesnt give anything away rlly
so it works that way too
itd be like me using "pinkhair"
or "wrappedhands"

[ Pink hair, now that is a choice. (Probably?) But he also thinks it's neat. ]

i have been called the man in the white hood before. i don't have any strong feelings on it one way or another. i will think on this one.

it was very troublesome to have accidentally sent you a message that was not meant for you, but i am glad we spoke.

[ Being nice. Having emotions and expressing them. He's learning. ]

think away
no rush
its not like u have to choose or die
its just easier for ppl to know whos talking

also
i think theres a way to make more than one user name
idk the details but i can ask if thats something u think u need
u know
for safety reasons
or any reason

it sucks but im glad we spoke too

i would very much appreciate that information. please be discreet when you ask.

and if there is anything i can relay to you that can be seen from unusual vantage points, i may be able to be of service.

[ He is not in the habit of cultivating one-sided relationships, and it is good to know what sorts of information people like to know. ]

[instructions will follow, typed out without text speak abbreviations. she's got at least two people that know how to do this, and there's no reason they wouldn't show her ...she should probably know how to do this for her own reasons, too.]

that could be useful yeah
or u could just like
not be a stranger
say hi once in a while

say hi to ur roommate for me

it is impossible for me to be a stranger.

[ It's a simple fact. But saying hi? Communicating socially? Him?? ]

i will give my regards.

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