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But there's a lotta stuff she doesn't know about me yet. Like my... — ( she takes a moment to lift up her hands and wiggles her fingers to emphasize. ) — unique qualities and mind. If ya catch my drift.

( jinx drops her hands back down on her lap then sighs in defeat again. at least the feel of her fingers through her locks are soothing the hell out of her. )

How do I bring up that I'm... different? Just say, "Hey Rabbit! Nice that ya like me. Oh guess what? Sometimes, or well all the time I get confused. Something just goes screwy in my head and then next thing I know, someone's dead and I killed 'em.

Or how about I have such rotten luck that I ruined the one thing my father wanted by a single blast of a missile? Still wanna swing my way?"

( pulling her legs up, jinx wraps her arms around her knees in a tight hold. )

What's the use? ... He's right. This is just gonna blow up in my face before it'll even get off the ground.

Edited 2023-01-07 23:03 (UTC)

Look. Everyone in this place has "unique qualities", sometimes they even double up on 'em because of blood. What I'm saying is ...most of us are freaks. And about that other thing...

...I know it gives you ...well, trouble is an understatement, but I know someone else that hears voices, and it's not the same, but he was so scared he was crazy, and he isn't, but who cares if he is? What does that matter if he's---

[she just keeps braiding. (and braiding. it's a lot.)]

---what I'm trying to say, and making a mess of it, is that she already saw you close to your worst, and she's not stupid. She might be shy, and soft spoken, but she sees a lot. She's observant. She already knows that you get confused. Maybe not how much, or how often, but ...I don't think she's gonna bail. I don't think she would have said yes unless she really believed it could work.

Every other month the Pthumerians are putting shit in our heads and sometimes those things make us kill each other. Not all of us, but it's happened. Quite a few times, and the people that it happened to? They've got people that love the this out of 'em. 'Cause it's not their fault. And this? It's not your fault. How's it any different from a Trench curse?

[she doesn't outwardly flinch anymore when jinx refers to silco as her father, but inwardly she takes a little hit to the heart - and then she just lets it go.]

You didn't know there was a deal. Just like he didn't know what you were gonna do after. Chizu thinks you're worth a shot. If those voices start telling you you're not, just remember, they're calling your girl stupid by disagreeing. So fuck 'em.

[she hates herself for this - she will hate herself more later, but she's committed. there's no way she can't say it. there's no way she can let jinx say that of all people silco would have thought she'd blow this up. she's not sure he'd encourage her - but she chooses in this moment to believe that he would. that he'd want her to have someone. if he was a father, if he was anything close, if he wasn't just using her for his own means, then...]

He'd never say that. He told you that you were perfect.

[the words feel like a betrayal, but they're ...true as far as she believes.]

( she listens attentively to her sister and well, she has a point. in a place like trench, so much crazy happens. well, "crazy" is putting it lightly. manic, maybe? but if only the manic situations were more up to her standards. although, she would argue with makes her curse different than the trench curse that it goes away eventually. they deal with it for a month and then they deal with the next thing that could be nicer. her "jinx" never goes away -- it sticks and follows her like a shadow with reminders of to not venture of the path it has her set on.

which... makes her ponder over, why is her "jinx" allowing her to have nice things right now? it's rather suspicious of it to gift her all of these delightful experiences. ... could it be setting things up for something? or maybe it's just waiting for her to ruin it all on her own? if only her curse was an actual person then she wouldn't be asking all of these questions. )

( with vi's last statement though, that grants her rather puzzling look -- enough that she turns over her shoulder to show it. )

Wha? No. I'm not talkin' about Silco. He... I-I think he wouldn't mind Chizuru.

( or would he? jinx would like to hope he would find chizuru fo a good influence. and it's a shame he isn't here. this girl holds his approval and opinion so high up it's rather ridiculous. )

— I meant... Mylo. He thinks this is gonna be another "Ekko - blow up in my face" thing. ... Except funnier.

Edited 2023-01-09 17:06 (UTC)

[oh. heh. it's not as if she can unsay it now. but the important part is that now she knows it's "mylo" speaking (the one in jinx's head, who's just worse-seeming in every way) - she just scoffs.]

Well, Mylo doesn't get an opinion on that, says me. I'm banning it. As of right now. [she's firm but calm as she says it.] This kinda stuff blowing up in Jinx's face? Not funny. Ekko wasn't funny, and this isn't funny, either. Take your sabotage dreams elsewhere, okay?

[a flick into the air as if 'buzz off' could do just that - as if he's a buzzing little gnat.]

You've got this. Think of it as defusing a bomb. [or carefully crafting one, only it doesn't deal damage, it just ...explodes with feelings?] You could do that in your sleep, yeah?

( she watches her sister flick her hand into the air -- which is rather awkward to witness since "mylo" was on the other side of her. but it's the meaning behind it that counts. and interesting enough, his ghost does suddenly disappear and its just the two of them again. it's just like him in some way. he was pretty attention starved to get vi to notice him, so when she scolds at him, he usually shuts up.

so slowly, jinx turns her head back around to the front so her sister can finish her hair properly. with light bite of her lower lip, she speaks in a lull tone: )

...Yeah. Thanks, Vi. Not just with this, but um... ( a pause with an embarrassing forearm rub. ) I dunno, just... thanks with some other stuff.

(...)

Love you.

( ugh, she can feel her face heating up the moment those two words left her. but it's... been a while since she actually said it out loud. so. )

Edited 2023-01-24 06:18 (UTC)

[at least she'd had a visual cue when jinx had been squidly - this is just shooting in the dark, but she's glad she could have any hand (or finger) in silencing the voice even momentarily.

the unexpected thank you, the little embarrassed gesture - it tugs at the heartstrings for sure. and vi gives a playful little ruffle to jinx's hair, more of a little scalp-scratch than anything, careful not to mess up any braiding she's done - after all, this is the hair that chizuru's gonna see.]

No problem. I love you too, Jinxie.

[she'll counter that face flush with her own flush - heartwarming hug and all, and not embarrassed in the least.]

( she'd huff at the hair ruffle but it's the scalp scratch that sends it all the way. the sheepish floats off along with it as she wraps her arms around her knees again. but this time, jinx smiles warmly to herself -- content to have a nice quiet time like this with her big sister.

if someone were to tell her the two of them would be sitting like this after what she's done to piltover, she'd laugh at their face. but now witnessing this is something that's truly happening, jinx is hoping for many moments like this in their future. )

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END?????